The Architecture of Motherhood

A This podcast is sponsored by Autodesk. Autodesk has been a part of the design conversation since 1982, providing the tools that help architects around the globe imagine and create beautifully designed, memorable buildings that people love and admire.

B Thank you to Autodesk for supporting the work of Practice Disrupted and helping us bring the architecture community together, sparking curiosity and leading vibrant and necessary conversations with the industry's visionaries and bot leaders. I'm Evelyn Lee. And I'm Janine Chastain. We're collaborating on curated conversations to explore how the industry of architecture is changing.

A Together, we'll find ways to create new solutions to current challenges while elevating the value of architects.

B Welcome to Practice Disrupted.

A Hello, listeners. Hello, Janine.

B Hi, Evelyn. Hi, disruptors.

A As a mother and an architect, I am excited to bring Gloria back to the podcast to talk about all things motherhood, architecture, and mentorship as a lead up to Mother's Day weekend.

B Yes. And I think the last episode that she joined us on was part of our diversity equity series on international architects, but today we wanted to take a deeper dive into the experience of trying to practice as an architect and raise children, and in addition to that, Gloria is also a business owner, so she'll be able to address that as well.

A Yeah. So above and beyond that, she is still very invested in her architectural community. So Gloria has been giving back to the architecture community since as long as I've known her and I I don't wow, Gloria. I don't even know how long we've known one another.

C Since 2019.

A 2019? Okay. Well, you obviously know how long we've known each other. So you're an architect licensing adviser for the state Florida through AIA Florida NCARB. She is the treasurer of the board of directors for AIA Tampa Bay where she also serves as the chairperson of the woman in architecture committee and she is also a founder of foreign architects we will link that other podcast episode down in the show notes to That is a private online community where she mentors young and aspiring immigrant architects on how to obtain their architect license in the United States. So thank you so much for joining us, Gloria.

C Thank you for having me. I'm so glad of being back.

B Yeah. We're glad to have you back.

A So for the audience members who may not know who you are, although I imagine a lot of them do, do you mind giving us a very kind of brief overview of your career and kind of the the major milestones including not only the book publication, but, like, the major life milestones that you've had, including motherhood?

C Yes. So, you know, I am originally from the Dominican Republic, and I used to have a business back there. I started my business actually right when I got out of school in 2009. And the reason why was because I was working in an architecture firm since 2004, and I felt pretty confident by the time I finished school that I could practice. And I came to the United States in 2015 after I married my husband, Jeremy. And, you know, I thought I could just transfer my business here, which didn't happen because, obviously, my license was not valid here. And I had to go through the whole process of, you know, getting license here and all that because I I wanted to be able to fully practice. I I I got a job and worked for that company 4 years, while I was working, you know, to get my license here.

C But my intention was always being able to to work independently. Like, I wanted to be able to still have my business at some point and, you know, call my projects mine. So I got my license. That was another big milestone for me. I got my license in 2 1019, which is when I met you. And just to give you a little bit of a reminder, we met in the AIA at the main AIA conference in 2019. That's that's where we met. I think it was in Las Vegas, isn't it? I think Las Vegas.

A I feel like we might have been, like, conversing on social maybe a little bit before then.

C Yeah. Social media definitely was before that because it's still the whole process. But, like, in person,

A my

C first time I met you in person was there. And and, you know, and then after that, I got pregnant end of 2019. That was another big milestone because, if anybody have read my book, I kind of hold to start growing my family, for several reasons. But when I was licensed, I said, okay. We're ready. And, thankfully, I got pregnant right away with my first pregnancy. And and when I had my baby in 2020, which is in the middle of the whole pandemic and all the lockdowns and all that, because it was June 2020. I wasn't ready to go back, full time to my previous job because of several things.

C The major really was that because of the pandemic, I didn't get to enroll my daughter in any day care or anything because everything was closed. Nobody wanted to see anybody in person, and it was just kind of hard to, navigate that. So they didn't want me to come part time, and he was like, well, what am I gonna do with my baby? It's like something's gotta give. And, you know, my husband encouraged me. He he always has been my biggest supporter, And he said, you know, you have your license. You had a business before. This is, like, the one sign you were waiting from God of, like, what to do next. Why don't why don't we try it? And if it doesn't works, you know, what's the worst thing that can happen? That was one question I asked myself several time.

C And the worst thing that could happen, I thought it will be just having to get another job. Just knowing that it didn't work and just going back to working for somebody. And I handled that for a while and it was fine. I didn't die for it. So it will send that bad of a thought and I, you know, I I try it and I started Glow Architects in end of 2020 And I'm still going, still working.

A How old was Nova at that point?

C She was about, when we formally started was she was 4 months old because the the problem was when my maternity leave, those 12 weeks finish, is when I was trying to negotiate going back to work kind of part time, and they said no. There was a couple of internals since happening in the company at the moment that, I guess, didn't allow them for me to come back part time, but I just needed to put myself and my family first. And and that's what I did. And I'm I'm glad I did because I feel that deep in my heart, I was ready. I wanted to start my business. But I think I was, 1, comfortable with the payroll and kinda being you know, knowing that every month and every 2 weeks, I was gonna get that, you know, paycheck, the security, and then the the insurance, like, health insurance was good, which when you have a small business, sometimes that can be challenging too. So the security was good, but but then now the freedom and all the things I've been able to do for my family and myself by owning my business is just priceless.

B That's a lot of change all in a short amount of time, including during the pandemic. I guess I'm wondering and I know we're gonna get into it further, but what is that transition like when you go from not having a child to all of a sudden you have a new responsibility and you're thinking about trying to pick back up all these other things that you had previously been probably doing really continuously up until that point.

C Mhmm. And I think especially when you have a mindset of, you know, I I don't want to stop working. Because that's the main scene, I think. I have a lot of friends and family that when they have kids, they made a cons like, a decision of I'm gonna be a stay home mom, and sometimes that's permanent and sometimes it's temporary. And and all that is fine because, again, at the end, what matters is what's best for you and your family. But then there's some of us that want to be doing both at the same time. And it can be challenging because it's tricky. Right? And I think when I the the biggest blessing I think I had at that moment was that the first three I was still an employee.

C And I, you know, I worked for that company 4 years, so I think I kind of earned those 3 months without feeling any guilt of, you know, leaving them after. But I was able to fully focus on myself and my baby, and I had challenges, as a mother initially related to my baby being born with tongue ties, and breastfeeding was super crazy for me initially. And a lot of stuff that has nothing to do with my career. It was all related to motherhood itself. Right? So I was I was able to focus just on my baby and me those first 3, 4 months, which was looked very different this time around because now I own a business. So that part of, like, being completely disconnected for 3, 4 months just didn't happen. And and I would like to talk about that when we get more deep into the conversation. But I think the transition, best thing I learned is that it's just really important being able to have that time because nobody there's so many books, so many podcasts, so many videos everywhere, like, YouTube stuff that you can find, blogs, you know, and people around you that will give you advice, sometimes solicited and sometimes unsolicited advice.

C But you can learn so much from all the information that is out there, and you're still not prepare fully prepared for what comes to you the way it hits you. Motherhood can heal you and take you to the bottom of yourself literally because every baby, every pregnancy, every baby, every mother, every situation that you are at like, you can be a single parent. You can have a very supportive couple. You may have a couple, but maybe that person is not supportive at all. You might have family around you, or you might be like me that all my family from my side is all in the Dominican Republic. My only family right now is my husband's family. So it just looks very different. And the way you approach things, it's it's something that you have to figure out as you go in combination with what you learn from others and what you read and what you, you know, put into it to research and kind of educate yourself about it, if that makes sense.

A I have a question going back to one of your earlier earlier responses about when you decided to kind of start down the path of motherhood because you said you waited until kind of after you finished your licensing exams. For me, it was like there's no time that's a good time to start, and the realities of pregnancy when you get later in life too is that you don't know if it's going to work right away or if it's going to be a really long journey. And it was just also a scary one for me from, like, identity being this very much similar to you are, this career driven person, and, like, what is the motherhood layer on top of all of that? So, I guess, did you have any, you know, what what was your feelings around timing? And did you have any are you somebody who always knew from the beginning you wanted to be a mother and this is something you were born to do? I was definitely not one of those. How did how did that story kind of unfold for you?

C So I always if you read my book, I've I've talked about it from the beginning. I just always knew I wanted to be a mother. I just dream about it. To me, it was like, in my head, there was something about, like, feeling that it was, like, the culmination of the scenes I wanted in life. It was, like, one of those items that I definitely wanted besides all the other scenes. One thing that it it's very was clear for me was that it wasn't the only scene I wanted to do. But I do agree with you, and that's one of the things that I also touched based on my book is I personally regret that I waited that long because I kept telling myself I'm not ready yet. I know I want it, but I'm not ready yet.

C I'm not ready yet. I can't do this right now. It's not gonna work if I get pregnant right now. Like, how am I gonna, you know, balance all these? And I need to get this done first, and then that then that can happen. Right? I was trying to be very methodic about it. And I'll tell you what. Thank god I got pregnant right away with NOVA, my first one, because we said, okay. We're ready.

C Let's go to Europe. And we went to Europe, September 23rd, I think it was. And October 3rd, we were in London and about to take the flight back from our 2 weeks vacation, and then I felt nausea. And I remember I look at my husband, and I said, there's no freaking way I'm pregnant because we just started crying, and I was pregnant with Nova. And here, jeez. So it was pretty fast. But I think I took that for granted because with Neil, we experienced a completely different story. We tried for almost a year and had 2 miscarriages in the in the process.

C I can't get even emotional thinking about it because we try so hard to have this second baby. And if that will have been my first experience, I probably will have been even discouraged about, like, maybe I'm not meant to be a mother. You know? And and since just work different. But I think from my experience with this whole scene is I completely 100% agree with you that you cannot plan for these things. I was lucky the way that it it unfold for me because I planned for it the first time, and it worked perfectly right by the book of how I plan it. But then it didn't happen that way. You know? I planned for the second. I said, oh, I'm gonna wait until nobody's 1 year old.

C That's the perfect that's the perfect age for the whole thing to happen, and then we're gonna get pregnant right away, then we're gonna have the second. And that's not what happened. And guess what? I I think it it just took me off guard. It took me off guard because I I thought that type of sense I could also plan and manage, and you can't. And I believe now that I've learned all the things that I've learned with how to handle architecture and my career and all my entrepreneurship stuff and and all my mentorship stuff that I do for the community and motherhood and being a wife and you know? That you can definitely do this. There's just certain things that you should know and on how to handle it. And if you get those tools that are available to you and use them, you can you can be a motor as early or as late as you want. Like, I just feel that I'm a huge advocate now of not delaying it because you think you can't do it.

C Like, if there's any other reason, fine. Because everybody is different, and I think, again, you have to do what's best for you and your family. But I am a huge advocate of, like, don't wait because you think you're not ready. Just if you have the person you want to be in start out family, go for it because it's just you never know how it's gonna really work. You you don't know if you're gonna get pregnant right away or not. You don't know if you will have infertility issues or whatever it is. Like, it just, to me, it's like there's never a perfect time, and and I learned that the hard way, I think.

B Did either of you ever feel afraid or was there any fear about going through this process of either getting pregnant or the birthing process or even just transitioning your life to become a parent?

C I was terrified. And I think that fear was embedded in me because of scenes that I heard around me since I was little. I had a lot. I don't know if everybody experienced the the scenes that I experienced, but I also talk about that in my book. But I have a huge fear of whenever I will start being a mother, it was just gonna be the end of my career, like, the death of it. Because I had so many people around me that kind of just the way they will talk about the whole thing made me feel and think mistakenly that you can be a good mother. And I think that good mother is a keyword because, yeah, you can be a mother, but then, you know, like, it doesn't means necessarily that you're a good mother because, oh my gosh, if you're, like, a career driven person, you know, it made me always feel that I was just gonna be feeling guilty in having this mom guilt because I was not gonna be present for my kids, and I was not gonna be the good mother that, stay at home mom could be. You know? And I think there was a lot in my brain that developed from those conversations around me.

C And it's, to me, now that I am here, it's all lies. It's a lot of of, misconception, and and I always say that, like, people tend to talk or or tell you that something can be done based on their own limitations or the sense they know, and that doesn't necessarily applies to you. Like, you'd you know, it's not you're a you're a unique person with unique skills. So you kind of have to try things on your own, like, figure things out.

B So the book that we keep referencing is titled The Architecture of Motherhood, which was published in 2022. When did you start writing the book?

C I started writing that book early 2021. It was a little bit after Nova, was born. I will say she was, like, maybe 6 to 7 month because I remember it was probably late 202020, early 2021 when I, like, start putting the first scenes in place. What inspired me to do it was that a friend of mine actually published a book, Chad Diamond. He's you know you know Chad. He's, like, he's the guy who always helps my Chrissy Cow with, like, all the videos and stuff. He published a book. And I remember talking to him and saying, oh my gosh.

C I've been having this idea of writing this one book, and I have no idea how to start. And he sent me a little one sheet guide that he had and said, like, maybe this will help you. This is what helped me. And I used that as a way to start putting together, like, the titles and how to organize my, you know, my storytelling and and the whole scene. But, yeah, it it was early because I I think one of the things that was good for me was I really wanted to start, like, kind of writing down some of the experiences I was having in, experiencing myself in flesh with Nova. And then, like, when I, you know, I just started the business around couple of months before that. So it was kind of like, oh, I can do this, or this is something that we did and it worked. I wish I could tell this to other people because it's possible.

C You know? So I start kinda writing down some of those scenes, and it slowly became this book.

A I feel like there's such courage behind what you did because there's so many people that talk about doing something as big as taking on a book, and I think there's so there's very few people who kind of actually go ahead and share as personally as you did about their own story with the hope that others can learn from from those lessons. Can you tell us a little bit about the book writing process and what even the things as you put together your own story that you might have learned about yourself through that process.

C Wow. Okay. Well, there's a couple of things in that. One is definitely writing. Running is hard, I think, especially if you're not a professional writer. Right? Let's start with that. I'm not a professional writer. And then I was trying to write a book in a language that is my second language, which made it even harder.

C I think if I will have reading this in Spanish, maybe the process will have been a little bit less challenging, I guess. But writing a second language is just it was just something for me that I I kept, like, making my husband reread what I was writing, making sure I didn't have typos and all that kind of stuff. It's just, you know, this this this was one of the things that I struggle the most, I will say, that that English is second language. But then there's there's one scene that I've learned in in my process with this book is that there's a lot more involved in writing a book than just putting together your manuscript because you have to think a lot on how the people who will read the book will perceive it, how you are really helping. It's not just about maybe telling your story if it's a personal story or, like, whatever is the lesson you're trying to teach others is is really about them, not about you because you know, who I am. Like, you know, I'm just Gloria. But it's like, what is the what is the the, I guess, the golden nuggets? What is the advantage for anybody to read this book? It's it's what really, at some point, it became real to me to to understand. Okay.

C I'm writing this book, but how can I make it that someone really finished the book and feels, oh my gosh? I really got, like, you know, 3, 4, or 5 scenes that are, like, I just didn't think about. It was right in front of me, and it's so valuable. And I'm so thankful I read this book. You know? So making sure that when you're doing it, you know, it's it's about what you're giving back. Right? What are people taking from it? The other thing too, and that goes with the part of, you know, how the second language was a challenge, was understanding that I needed to be very disciplined. And and to your point of, like, a lot of people talk about doing it and then they don't do it is discipline was key. Consistency. Like, I I learned that I needed to to be able to finish the book.

C I needed to dedicate at least 15 minutes each day to writing. And sometimes it was way more than that. Sometimes I will, like, get so deep into what I was writing that I will spend, like, 2 hours after Nova was down for the night. You know? And I will, like, start writing and just get, like, so into it, and I will spend, like, 2 hours on it. And sometimes I just didn't have 2 hours. I had, like, 10, 15 minutes. But the most important thing was that I never stop. I never let it sit and and just, like, forget and kind of get, like, cold in the process, if that makes sense.

C Like, I I kept it going, and I honestly learned that from that ARE boot camp with Michael Rysicka because one of the things you learn in that boot camp is with the exams, the ARE exams is, like, as long as you keep going, that you don't stop, you're still making progress. Right? And I think that's that that applies to the book. Like, I as as long as I didn't stop, it didn't matter if I only wrote, like, 2 paragraph. It was still progress versus, like, me stopping for 2, 3 weeks and then trying to remember where was I with the book, what, you know, what was the part of the story I was trying to tell? Where I was going with this with this part I was writing? It's really hard to go back, especially when you're already, you know, a parent and when you have

A a certain mommy brain. Have

C Oh my gosh. That thing is real. I even read somewhere that there's something about, like like, there's part of your brain that drinks. I don't know if it's true, but I remember reading. I'm like, is that true? Is that why I keep forgetting scenes lately? I don't know. But, definitely, I you know, you just, like, you just struggle. Like, scenes get, like, really foggy. And and I think for me, it was very important, the consistency and the discipline.

C Another thing I I learned in the process of writing this book was this, you know, storytelling really helps others to relate with you. Some of the chapters, originally, I started just kind of telling them what to do, if that makes sense. Oh, this is what I learned. And if you do this, then you will get there or, like, you will get that. And and then I will read it back, and it I just couldn't relate to it myself. It's just like it just didn't it just didn't register for me. And if it didn't register for me, who I was the one writing it, just imagine someone who wouldn't even know me. So I make sure that in every part of the book, I always start with the storytelling where I could share that specific real life experience I was going through that either taught me something.

C It was related to that one one chapter. What I was trying to every time I chose a chapter title, it was with an intention. There was a lot of intention. This is this one chapter is gonna be about that, and I'm trying for them to learn this one scene I learned. So how do I transfer that information to them in a way that is not boring, is interesting, it keeps them wanting to read. That's the other thing too. It's like you don't you don't want to be so technical, in my opinion, that is like a textbook of

A not a technical person. I agree. Right?

C Right? And, like, if you're like, I mean, especially architects after we have to go through the ARE, I did not want to read. I don't want to read. Let me clarify that say that better. I do not want to read anything. Again, that is so dry and technical. There's no way I will just fall asleep while doing it. So I made sure that I was doing a good storytelling in each chapter. And I think that worked because I've got really good feedback from people that I've got a couple of men that have read the book saying I cried within your book.

C 2 men have told me that. So to me, that's, like, a big hit, honestly. I wasn't expecting that.

A No. I think that's like that makes it so much I mean, storytelling well, there's a whole there is science behind storytelling and kind of memorable, like, the how much longer you remember things that you learn through storytelling. So Mhmm.

C Mhmm. Another thing I learned with the book writing is that, you know, imp imposter syndrome is a real scene. I I've known I felt it several times with different parts of my life, but, like, it really hit hard with the book because I kept asking myself, oh my gosh. Who is gonna read this book? Is this really something that anybody will care for? Like, am I really enough to like, who I am, you know, who I am to write this book, who I am to tell others about motherhood when I just have one baby at that point? You know? Now I have 2, but I only had a baby when I wrote the book. And it's just like there's a lot of, self doubts that came because it always it it it always comes back to you kind of questioning, like, are you enough? Is is this really important? Will anybody ever care? And I think at the end of the day, what you need to do is putting it together and knowing that you're doing it for a good reason, that you are putting orders before you, that you're really trying to transfer a good information, something valuable information for others to help others. And the people who might relate to whatever it is that you're trying to share, they will find they will find it, and they will relate to it. Because there's other people that feel the same fears that you feel, that want the same things that you want, that maybe want to be where you are at right now. And you sharing how you got there is enough for them to feel either inspired, learn from it.

C Whatever it is is always valuable. So that was one thing also too is is imposter syndrome is real, but you can completely overcome and just, like, by keeping that those whys of why you started the book in 1st place, you know, right in front of you every time.

A I so I have so much to cover, and I think everything that you just said. I think people I I know a number of people that would be surprised that an individual like yourself even has impostor syndrome. Right? Like, they've seen you give talks. They've sort of, like, wait. What? Gloria and I, like, had to deal with this while she was going through the writing of the book. I think they might be surprised to hear that, but but to that end and through the stories in your in your book too, I appreciate the transparency and honesty that you've kind of always had with your your audience and your and the struggles that you've had to persevere through. I imagine there's so much you learned in the writing of the book that you can kind of apply to the marketing and promotion even of your business, and how you begin to tells tell stories about the work that you're doing. Is that something where you, like, took those lessons and kind of applied them to to Glow as you move forward?

C Well, I will say maybe work a little bit backwards because I feel that I I got to promote Glow way before I got to plumb promote the book, if that makes sense. Mhmm. And I got really good traction with Glow by the time the book was published. I had really good projects going on with Glow. So I think I actually was backwards. Like, the scenes that I applied to grow Glow and promote it and let people know is what I use with the book. But I think, yes, it will apply backwards too if it will have been the other way because it's it was pretty much the same techniques. I I did a lot of social media.

C I I kind of let people know that I was doing it when I was when it was ready enough. And and I, you know, and I start sharing little bits of it little bits of it so people will get excited and and all that. So I think it's very similar to what I did with Glow Architects because I did something similar. I let people know that I was starting a business, and then I start sharing some of the projects and then, you know, these or that. So I think I I think, yeah, what I learned with the business is what I applied to the book, and it totally worked. Because we became bestseller in, like, 9 categories of 10 that I that we put the book on, and it was pretty amazing.

A Yeah. I think what's been interesting about your approach in that is, like, you're you're building and and telling your story. You're telling your story as you're building. So you have this very, like, much first hand account of what's what's going on. I feel like when so many architects start a business, they want to have, like, they wanna have their portfolio of projects before they even let people know that they're starting a business. Like, they're scared to even take that step right so so there's a lot more to glow than just the name of your firm. So if I haven't bought in your book, like, you know, what do you hope that mothers could take away from your book and and, like, what was your elevator picture? Why should I go out and pick up your book? You know, and what can I expect to to get out of it besides all of these amazing stories and firsthand accounts?

C There is a lot of it's funny because the there's, like, an ac acronym on my book that all the chapters formed is how to glow with every start of each chapter. So, for example, the age is, like, happily ever architect, and I kinda talk about my, you know, my early times as becoming an architect and all that and so and so. But the last four chapters is the globe art, and is it talks it's it's the one those chapters are the ones that are, like, very focused on on the lessons learned that I had for, you know, motherhood and balancing what was important. The the keys to success for me as as a motor while being a a business owner and architect. Right? You know, balancing my professional life with motherhood. And I think if if there's one thing I will want people to get is is specifically that is, like, how to glow. Because it's funny that word is, like, you know, when you get pregnant, it's the one that everybody tells you.

A You're glowing. Yeah.

C And it's like, well, then you have the baby and the glow just disappears. Right? But it was like, well, my business really, I call my business Glow because that was, a nickname when I was in college. People used to call me Glow because I'm Gloria. Right? So it was like it only felt right to call it Glow. And, also, too, it's like it's a enlightening word. I'd I'd it just it was it felt right to call my business glow, but it also went so connected to what I was trying to say with the book because it's like, how do you stay glowing when you become a mother and you want to be a business person? Like, how do you keep that glow going? And and I think that's that's if anybody gets anything from the book is how to get that glow. And that glow comes with balance with, knowing yourself, with delegating, with with finding help, you know, growing your support system and all the other stuff that I talk about in the book. It I think one of the things also that I shared in the book for anybody that, you know, it's it's a mother or not is I am a believer.

C I have big faith, and I talk a lot about my faith in the book. I share that boldly, and I I I knew that maybe it was not gonna resonate with some people. But I wanted to make sure that for those that maybe needed a little bit of encouragement and and kind of, like, reassurance with within their own faith, that they could find that and see how my faith helped me throughout the process of my career and motherhood too. So that was one of the things that is all over. There's so much sprinkle of my faith and how that played a part on my on my own journey too. So that was one of the things I wanted to make sure that people will get from the book. It's pretty much glorifying Jesus in in in my book is what I wanted to do. So

A Yeah. But that's one of the things that I, like, constantly appreciate about you is you always continue to show up as your whole self. Right? And I think and that was something that I struggled with for the longest time is, like, how do do I compartmentalize these things, and do I separate them out?

C Because you're always nervous that people that may not agree with that part of you will reject you. Right?

A Right.

C It's that part of that imposter syndrome that comes back to it. It's pretty much that. It's the the question of us thinking, is that is this part of me good enough? Should I let others know that this this is part of who I am too? I I get it, and I felt it. I've been there.

A Yeah. But I think, like, you obviously want like, you know, how how do you know if people really like you and all the parts that make you up? And how do you connect with people if you aren't showing up wholly? I think it's ultimately, like, the the story is, like, so much more narrow. Right? And it's just so much harder to build connections. So it took me a while to get there, but but I but I've appreciated just, like, your, like, I don't know if you would call it radical candor or just your candor or transparency of how you continuously show up as your whole self no matter what the audience.

C I think there is a part of me too that I just don't know how to be any other way. So it's like, it is what it is.

A Well, that's fair. So, obviously, you wrote this book for mothers, but you mentioned that there's been a few gentlemen that have picked up the book and have cried from your stories. Do you think and is there an opportunity or, you know, is are there lessons to be learned from from allies that would that would read the book and and what they could get out of it?

C Definitely. Because I've mainly wrote it for mothers in architecture. But I think any let's start with the the fact the fact that any anyone who wants to be a mother and wants to have a career can benefit from the book, not only architects. Let's start with that. It's not only for architects, really, because the things that I teach in the book and I talk about and I share are not just it doesn't applies only for architecture. That's one thing. Then the second part is it doesn't only applies for if you're a mother. It all it also applies if you're a father too.

C Because some of the things that I'm talking about in the glow chapters, the the last four chapters, it doesn't matter. It's not just for the mother. It's also for the father. It's it's principles and techniques that it it it applies either or. And then the last thing is there's other since it either if you want to be to grow your family or not at the moment that I talk about, that can be really inspiring. Like, there's people that have read the book just because they're immigrant architects, and they have no interest right now on starting a family. But just because they wanted to read about how I accomplished, you know, coming to the United States and becoming a licensed architect. And there's people that relate to the book because, you know, it's not only being an immigrant, but also starting a business itself.

C I I shared at one of those last chapters. I talk about how I started my business and the things that work for me on owning a small business. And and I share a lot of, like, knowledge of the things I learned in my own process that I think is super beneficial. So, also, too, you know, if you if you just want to start a small business, there's a full chapter where that is displayed, and I think it's the information there is actually very valuable too. So, again, it's it's for models in architecture, but there's a lot of other little sides of it that I think other people can benefit from it from braiding it.

A Yeah. So now you've mentioned multiple times you are a mother of 2, and I feel like we've said this with other parents, like, for us or for me anyways, going from 1 to 2 is not like I feel like it's exponential. It's not like double. It's

C No. No.

A There's so much more to it. So, you know, I I guess, what is a purse like, what is the adendum or what is this you know, has your perspective at all changed, you know, now that you have NEO in your life?

C I think it it doesn't it hasn't changed in a way. I think it has yes and no. It will be the best the best answer to that question. Yes and no. Yes because I agree with you. It doesn't double. It's just, like, exponentially increase to, like, I don't know, 100% or something like The amount of work and coordination and, you know, the way you have to structure things and the discipline that you have to have as a as a as a mother, this just way bigger, I will say. But no.

C The part of the no on my answer is because I'm just so glad I wrote the book when I had just one child because most of the scenes that I was applying with that with the, the simplest, right, scenario of having 1 child with 1 husband who was very supportive. I was able to take all that and, like, apply it to having 2 kids and still make it work. Right? I think one of the mistakes I will say I made this time around was because I have a business, and I didn't have a business initially. Right? I I started a business after those first 3 3, 4 months of life of Nova. With Neil, I did slow down. I didn't take projects at the end of the pregnancy, but I still took a big big one opportunity that came through my way because I felt like I couldn't say no. I just couldn't say no to that. It was a big, church project that was offered to us, and I'm like, oh my gosh.

C How I'm gonna make this work? I can't I can't say no. I need to get it. I need to take this project. I wanted it so bad. And the re the the main thing is I said yes to dad, and then 2 more churches came after that. And they were bigger. They were double the size of the first one. So the first one was 14,000 square footage, and the second one was 45,000 square footage, and the third one 40,000 square footage.

C And it's a lot. I'm still a small company. We're still a small firm. We're 4 of us. And, you know, it was kind of challenging because then Neil was late. He was supposed to be born in December 20, kind of like we were expecting him to be a Christmas baby, and then he actually was born in December 31st. So now we're gonna tell him that all the fireworks are for his birthday on New Year's Eve.

A Right.

C But but, you know, I I just got myself into trouble in the mean of, like, I I still got committed to certain level of work that I probably should have said no. But because it was just a great opportunity for me and my company, I said yes. And I said, I just need to understand that I'm not gonna be the one who's gonna be doing this, this, and that because I'm not gonna be able to do it, for the first three months. So who can do it? I need to delegate this. I need to delegate this to someone in the company that can do it for me. And then I can maybe supervise and kind of oversee what they're doing, but I know I wasn't gonna be the the one doing it. Right? So that's still valid. That is still valid.

C That's actually the key of success with many with many things in in an architectural practice that you don't do everything yourself. Right? Mhmm. Yeah. So my point is with having a second child, it became more challenging, but it forced me to be even more given on those principles that I teach in the book because it made me be very dependent on my team, if that makes sense. So, we're we're still going. Since we're going great. And and I think, I think that's how the perspective change or or got modified is, yes, this is harder. But if we apply the same principles, then we should be okay.

A Yeah. No. I think I mean, that's an important I I feel like letting go as you as you grow and becoming more reliant. Trust that your hiring process got you the right people is is important. And I think that's, I mean, that's important for any business leader, right, as they look to grow the company, but even more so when you are juggling multiple things.

C No. I was just gonna say that sometimes without intention, it's not like you plan for it. If you're not like a control freak, which most of us are, but let's say you are not, you can micromanage again unintentionally. And at the end, you just create a burden on yourself with that. And I think I think it's just important, to be able to, yeah, find the right team the right team members and and, train them train them well, take the time to train them, and then being able to trust to trust the process. And, you know, know that since our transition our transition to, like, make a small smooth transition for people because sometimes you can throw things at them, but, sometimes knowing that you might still need to get some time to kind of oversee what they're doing and help them to kind of, you know, grab the essence of it and then let them run with it.

A But I also think that's such an and more natural transition for you with all the mentoring and teaching that you you do outside of, like, business and with motherhood. Right? Yeah.

C Think about you're a mother of like, you are the biggest leader on your household. And the same the same since you applied in motherhood, you pretty much applied in your business. It's crazy how related these two things are then how we keep thinking that we can do them together.

A So what's next for you?

C Maybe a 3rd child? Joke. I don't know. I don't know if we're gonna have more children. I sometimes I joke about it because I'm like, oh, maybe we could have a third one. And Jeremy's like, I don't know. But I independently in the personal part, I think, in my professional life, I think I am very into these religious buildings, projects. I'm really enjoying design the design process with them and how, like, they're they don't feel so rushed like some other projects that I've worked with Glow. And I and I mentioned Glow because I had a business back in the Doctor, and since we're just really different.

C So my my real reference is the the time I worked for a company here since 2016 and GLOW, like me just managing my own business in the states because things are just very different in this country from how they were back in the Doctor. Right? But I think these projects don't feel as rushed, and it they just feel they they really kind of nurture is the word I'm looking for. They just nurture my soul. So I I'm enjoying it really a lot. So I might try to focus on that type of projects moving forward. We'll see what happens. But, also, I've been really thinking a lot how I can help more immigrants, you know, accomplish their licensing goals in the United States. And I have that foreign architects group where I mentor like, the group is over 2,000 people now, and I'm constantly mentoring people, especially in the private chats.

C You will you will be surprised if you see the private messages I have in between Instagram and Facebook. Sometimes I don't look at it for, like, 2 2, 3 days, and I look back, and it's, like, steady messages of people, like, asking questions. It's a constant work, full time job that I have with that that I do for free. But I've I've realized that maybe I need a better system. My husband keeps telling me, like, maybe if you put a couple of scenes in YouTube, like, create a channel and put a couple of those things that everybody ask you ask you over and over, you create a video where you're explaining that, and then they you can direct them there so you don't have to, like, repeating yourself. Right? So all that out automation.

A I think there's definitely probably some AI prompts that, like, if somebody asks a certain question, you're able to just say yes, and then it'll, like here's my here's my typical response to that question because it's so question. It keeps coming up so much. Yeah.

C Yeah. So I think that might be one of the sense that I have in that I will have in the works in the next few. I don't I don't want to get into it right now because Neos is still very little. He's just turning 4 months in the the 31st. So I still want to be able to have, like, that extra time to spend with him. I I, you know, I exclusively breastfeed and all that, and that's a lot of work alone. But I think when I when he's a little older, maybe a couple of months older, I probably will start working on how can I help better serve better the foreign architects community and those who will be reaching out in the future and are in the process at the moment too? So that might be one of the things that I've that I will work in. We'll see how that unfolds.

A You so you are a part of the city shaper book, so I wanna make sure that that links end up in the the show notes. And, again, I think that's a great kind of plug for all of the work that you're doing to to help uplift immigrant architects. But for kind of our closing question, you know, what is the biggest or most frequent piece of advice that you have for young women in the profession? And it sounds like you may have answered it earlier in the podcast, but I just wanna make sure that we end on that note too. Or or even for, like, the the the future leaders and the the women that are looking at going into principal or partner at other firms or starting their own firms.

C Well, one one thing that big piece of advice that I always like to tell others is, you know, a lot of people will tell you that something is impossible, that you can't do this, that there's no way, you know, that, you know, that you just can't. And I I was told that. In my book, I talk about it. I had a person specifically who literally told me that I will never get my architect license here because many reasons. And I think that what I've learned is that people that tells you that type of unsolicited advice, usually say those things based on their own limitations. And I believe that their limitations doesn't necessarily are your limitations. So my big piece of advice is don't let other people's limitations limit you because you can you can do this. You can figure things out.

C You are more capable, stronger, smarter than you might think. I believe as as a woman, as a mother, as an architect, as a leader, I believe that we have so much power within us. The fact that we are able to create life alone is a miracle. So if we can't do that, like, what can't we do? So that that will be my advice is just remember that don't let other people's limitations to limit you because you you are way more capable than than you might think.

B Hi, disruptors. If you like the content from today's show, you can find all of our past episodes over on practiceofarchitecture.com/podcast.

A Be a part of the conversation by joining us, our speakers, and others in the community at practiceofarchitecture.com/community.

B Our social media handle is practice of arc. That's practice of a r c h. We'd love to hear from you, so feel free to drop us a DM and say hello.

A Thank you for joining us on practice disrupted, a podcast by the practice of architecture. Tune in next week for a new conversation on change in the profession.